


Oh my love, Oh my Life

by Gorawrpanda



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Domestic Fluff, Grief/Mourning, M/M, ahaha sorry this is pretty sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-23 17:10:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6123707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gorawrpanda/pseuds/Gorawrpanda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If he could he would love Lee Jihoon more than the sun loves the moon</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh my love, Oh my Life

**Author's Note:**

> Written while listening to Jung JoonYoung's song Amy ~ Sorry for mistakes and what not

"Do you remember?" Seuncheol starts out his voice barely above a whisper "How we meet ?" there is no response just silence and Seuncehol looks down smiling "It was in the coffee shop you worked at in your third year, your smile was too cute and I kept trying to get you to laugh. You almost threw me out the shop for some of the jokes"

*

"Hey" Seungcheol says smiling, all Jihoon does in response is purse his lips.

"Please don't say more jokes" he pauses reaching over to grab the coffee cup "same as always ?" he adds and Seungcheol nods leaning on the counter.

"I just want to see you smile Jihoon-ah" Seungcheol says flashing Jihoon a smile as the younger just stares before turning over to make Seungcheol's drink.

It's been a month since Seungcheol had stopped by the cafe on accident, the cheap coffee surprisingly tasted good and seeing Jihoon every day was a plus. The first time Seungcheol saw him smiling Seungcheol knew he was in love, he also made it his mission then to try and get Jihoon to show that smile again.

"I am serious Jihoon-ah I want to see that cute smile of yours" Seungcheol says smiling, laughing when Jihoon flips him the bird behind his back.

Seungcheol doesn't see the way Jihoon smiles with pink dusting his cheeks, he only sees the back of the person he falls more in love with each day.

*

Seungcheol pauses again, moving to sit down cross legged. "Remember how when you found out I was a music major also you talked more with me, ah Jihoon, those were the days of us being so carefree" Seungcheol nods lost in thought.

*

"What are you doing here?" Seungcheol asks staring at Jihoon, Jihoon who isn't wearing the normal button up and apron Seuungcheol is use to seeing him in. Jihoon looks up, mildly displeased at the interruption.

"I am a student here, what are you doing here?" He asks his voice sounding raw (the sound makes Seungcheol shiver sending heat through his body). It takes a moment for Seungcheol to process the words before he shouts out loud making Jihoon jump a little "We go to the same school ?!"

Jihoon just stares at Seungcheol his mouth parting open as a smile begins to play at the edge of his lips. "I guess we do" he says moving over to make space for Seungcheol at the desk patting at the space, his cheeks slightly pink. Seungcheol smiles brightly dragging over a chair and putting his things down next to Jihoon.

It's a start to a lot of things, of late nights in the school library coffee dates and a kiss under the glow of the street lamps outside the library one night.

*

"We moved in together after graduation, we fought a lot due to the stress" Seungcheol sighs stretching his legs out "you almost left that one time remember ? I felt so stupid for it, I never did admit it was all me I am sorry for that"

*

"Jihoon" Seungcheol says softly leaning against the door, its cold outside and Seungcheol doesn't have a coat but he ignores it.

He knows Jihoon is on the other side, he can hear the soft sounds of him crying and Seungcheol wants to restart the night. He wants to never have snapped at Jihoon when the younger spent a bit more than what he should have to get beef for dinner. It was suppose to be a romantic surprise, not a fight, not pushing Seungcheol outside and locking the door.

"Jihoon" he says again a bit louder, "Jihoon, baby, please" He says he can hear shuffling on the other side "Jihoon please I am sorry let's talk it out". It's quiet and for a moment Seungcheol thinks Jihoon left his spot on the door, but then there is the sound of the door unlocking.

The sight of Jihoon makes Seungcheol's heart drop, his eyes are puffy and red tears stain his cheeks and Seungcheol feels anger at himself for it. The don't say anything but just stare, the words not quite coming out and Seungcheol sighs running a hand through his hair "I am sorry" he says again softly.

Jihoon nods swallowing before looking down "I am sorry too" he says softly.

Just like that the tension is gone and Seungcheol moves forward to hug Jihoon, the younger's arms wrapping around him clutching tightly. They walk still hugging to their bedroom, dinner will have to be thrown out tomorrow and the cup that fell off the table when Seungcheol hit it by accident will have to be swept up. But for now they lay in each other's embrace holding tight and murmuring apologies.

*

Seungcheol lets out a loud sigh, a small breeze blows through the air feels crisp and fresh Seungcheol smiles "ah, today reminds me of how I proposed. Do you remember that ? How you cried ? I was so worried you were going to say no, then you punched me" Seungcheol laughs loudly.

*

Four years. _Four years_ of being together and Seungcheol is finally going to propose.

It took a lot of pep talking from Soonyoung and the others to just do it. With a nervous glance towards Jihoon he pulls the younger over to a tree "Lets sit for a bit Jihoonie" He says and Jihoon smiles.

"Sure, but you're not using my lap as a pillow" He teases and Seungcheol mocks hurt, making them both laugh.

It's a clear sunny day the start of spring, of new beginnings and this was going to the be the start. With a loud exhale Seungcheol stands up _'it's now or never_ ' he thinks.

"Lee Jihoon" He starts and Jihoon looks up at him confusion on his face. Seungcheol licks his lips and reaches in his pocket for the black box, kneeling on one knee. "It's been four years since we meet, they have been amazing and wonderful and I am pretty sure soulmates exist because of you" he pauses to laugh nervously "I love you so much, I love you more than the sun loves the moon, so Lee Jihoon will you marry me ?" He asks opening up the box to show the plain silver ring.

When his eyes meet Jihoon's he is shocked to see the other staring wide eyed with tears running down his face, Seungcheol thinks he royally fucked everything up, panic running through his body. Before he can speak Jihoon seems to snap out of it standing while punching Seungcheol on the shoulder, before grabbing his jacket lapels to pull him into a crushing kiss.

It confuses him really and when Jihoon pulls apart he looks like he is crying more "Of course I'll marry you Choi Seungcheol". And he smiles, the same smile Seungcheol had fallen in love with four years ago. Seungcheol finds himself laughing happy tears spilling out as he leans his forehead against Jihoons, slipping on the ring.

Its spring, time for a new beginning. One that was four years in the making and Seungcheol couldn't be happier to have Jihoon in his life.

*

Seungcheol watches as a bird flies across the sky, it's a white dove. Something about it makes Seungcheol smile "Remember our wedding day ? It was a mess with everyone but it all worked out, you laughed so much that day I kept telling the photographer to take photos of your smile."

Seungcheol smiles but there is something sad in it as he looks down. "Remember our house ? How we moved in and you got sunburn you were miserable but you still laughed when I got my shirt caught in the doorknob"

*

"Seungcheol" Jihoon whines from the floor of their living room ( _their_ living room, in _their_ house it makes Seungcheol proud) the couch still didn't come in from the furniture store, something about a mixed address of the sorts. Neither of them cared too much, they had lived with less for a while back in college.

"Seungcheol" Jihoon says louder and Seungcheol hums walking over from the kitchen.

"Yes my husband?" He asks as Jihoon scrunches his nose. Reaching his arm up to grab onto the towel Seungcheol hands him.

"I feel burnt" Jihoon whines as he puts the towel on his red face and Seungcheol knows he shouldn't but seeing his small husband red and sprawled out on the cool wood flooring of the living room is a sight to see. He laughs quietly only to be smacked with Jihoon's hand the gold band on his finger making it hurt a bit more.

"I am going to file a divorce for you laughing at me" Jihoon mumbles face covered by the towel. Seungcheol shakes his head still smiling, "Sure you are" He says as he gets up.  
He should have known his shirt would get caught in the doorknob (really karma is a bitch) but as the sound of his shirt ripping echos through the house he can hear Jihoon's loud laughter following afterwards.

"Who is going to divorce who now?!" Seungcheol yells as he hears Jihoon's laughter grow louder through their house.

*

"Then you got sick. I remember how scared you were, how we both were. We didn't know at first what was wrong but you were so sick." Seungcheol pauses swallowing the lump in his throat. "We promised each other to be together no matter what, and it counted for this too"

*

Jihoon sits on the hospital bed his hands grip the edge and are thrumming occasionally against the bed, the gold ring on his finger clinking with every tap. It quiet in the room except for the buzz of the florescent light above them, Seungcheol hates it. He hates how scared Jihoon is, how the fear of not knowing what was wrong with him, what made him so sick runs through his mind. Seungcheol was scared too, he was worried as he had seen Jihoon cry in pain as he would throw up whatever he ate. Everything they did seemed not help making Jihoon worse, Jihoon was much skinnier now so thin and fragile it made Seungcheol's heart drop. He reached out grabbing Jihoon's hand and intertwining their fingers.

Seungcheol ignores how cold they were, how thin they were. Before he could say anything comforting the door opened. The doctor, a tall older man, came in holding a file before sitting down on the the stool. He licked his lips and put the file on the counter, scooting closer to them. He sighed heavily and Seungcheol's stomach dropped.

"I am sorry" the doctor said, Jihoon gripped onto Seungcheol hand tighter "but I am afraid there's nothing we can do except make it comfortable for him" He says. It's quiet, the words they both know unspoken; to make it comfortable for Jihoon's last few days, _the last few days before Jihoon passes_. The doctor mentions about letting them have some space as he gets up and leaves the click of the door leaves them in silence again.

Jihoon's grip is strong making his knuckles pale. There is a sniffle, Seungcheol doesn't remember who it was from but it starts it all as the room is filled with loud sobs. Jihoon shakes his thin frame not being able to handle it and Seungcheol pulls him into a hug.

When they get home all they do is lie down together they don't talk about it and it's a heavy tension in the air.

It's the last time Seungcheol holds Jihoon in their bed.

*

"Things got worse after that, I mean not between us but for you. You got thinner so much so and I-" Seungcheol stops to wipe at his face sniffing loudly "I said I wouldn't cry now" he lets out a sigh looking up at the bright blue sky "It was raining, then." Seungcheol stops the words not making it past his tongue.

*

Seungcheol could feel his heart drop as he sits next to Jihoon. The hospital machines beeping mockingly, full of life while another life is about to end. His hand finds Jihoon's, its thinner more bony the gold band easily moves as Seungcheol intertwines their hands.

He promised not to cry, not now, but he smiles as Jihoon barely awake smiles weakly back.

"Seungcheol" he says his voice soft and thin. Seungcheol wants to tell him not to speak to save his breath but he nods his head.

"Seungcheol" he says again and Seungcheol swallows the lump in his throat.

"I am here Jihoonie" he says moving closer to lean in front of Jihoon. Jihoon just smiles again his hand shaking as he tries to lift it up to Seungcheol's face, Seungcheol meets him halfway. The coldness of Jihoon's hand makes him jump slightly and his heart sink even more he fights back the wetness in his eyes.

"Thank you" Jihoon says it's more like a whisper and the nurse in the room just gives a sympathetic nod, they all know it's almost time. Jihoon smiles as brightly as he can and Seungcheol can see some tears spill down his face.

He reaches to wipe them away "Seungcheol" Jihoon says and the machine lets out a series of beeps as Jihoon seems to struggle, Seungcheol squeezes his hand rubbing his thumb on Jihoon's cheek.

"Seungcheol, I love you" Jihoon whispers out smiling as the machine beeps more, the nurse reaching over to silence it.

Jihoon closes his eyes with a smile and then he goes still.

The machines, all of them go quite.

Its raining outside the loud sound of the water hitting the large windows doesn't drown out the sounds of Seungcheol's sobs as he holds on to Jihoon's now cold hand.

Its a rainy afternoon when Choi Jihoon passes away of a incurable sickness in a dull hospital room.

*

Seungcheol keeps his eyes closed as he lets a few tears spill. "You would have liked the funeral, Seungkwan cried so much his face swelled everyone cried a lot, Joshua was the priest for your burial and Seokmin sang a beautiful song. I sang too. I sang your favorite song." Seungcheol nods as he gets up "I sold the house. I couldn't stand it without you there Jihoon." He sniffs loudly before leaning down and putting the flowers by the tombstone, _Choi Jihoon_ etched beautifully in the stone slab.

"I miss you Jihoon. I love you" Seungcheol says staring at the tombstone before turning to leave slowly.

It's a warm spring day, just as warm as they day they had buried Jihoon, as Seungcheol proposed and as so much more happened.

Seungcheol just lets out a breath as he walks out the cemetery, promising himself not to cry at least for Jihoon.

If he could Seungcheol wouldn't rewind time, he would just love Jihoon more than the sun loves the moon.


End file.
